One of the biggest problems married couples encounter has to do with their financial situation. You could be married to a hard-working person, yet don’t notice your savings growing. This has a lot to do with a person’s relationship with money growing up.
Unfortunately, some of those habits stick with people as they grow older, and it might be a big enough problem in the marriage when compounded with other issues. Especially for people who didn’t have a lot of money growing up, these habits might manifest:
Buying Big-time Rewards
Ever noticed your spouse coming home with shopping bags from their favorite brands? Chances are they didn’t have the opportunity to shop for brand new and expensive items growing up. This isn’t to shame their spending habits, but it explains why they love material things.
It’s a different thing when your spouse’s spending habits eat into the household funds, and no one can blame you for contacting divorce lawyers here in Long Island if that is the case. Even for regular couples, however, these splurges may be a common occurrence even if they aren’t necessarily causing divorce.
Spoiling the Children
One’s love for material things they were deprived of as a child extends to their own children. As a parent, you may be someone who can’t say no to your child’s whims. Even if they don’t ask for expensive items, you may be readily giving it to them because you don’t want them to want for things just like you did when you were their age.
While no parent can be judged for wanting to give the world to their children, you should be aware of how this potentially affects them. A child who has been given everything might not learn the value of hard work and might expect that everything will be handed to them even as adults.
They might think they deserve a job that they are not qualified for, and they will think they deserve more vacation days than they are allowed. Be a better parent and give children everything they want but still teach them the importance of hard work.
Overcompensating with Material Things
If your spouse has missed an anniversary and instead of saying a heartfelt apology, they give you an expensive gift to make up for it, it might be coming from a deep place. It’s not that you don’t deserve an apology; it’s just that they think something generous will be appreciated more.
In this case, the gift is not necessarily a bad thing, but couples need to understand each other beyond material things. Otherwise, these gifts will lose their meaning, and they will become replacements for affection. Express your feelings about not getting an apology after you’ve accepted the gift.
Your spouse would not feel good if the gift they spent money on is rejected, but you should also communicate that a gift does not replace their commitment to you.
Couples may go through a lot of challenging times together. Those who understand where each other is coming from will stay together, while those who refuse to listen to each other will not.