While many of us hope for a fairytale love story, it is more of a reality that some marriages end in divorce. The good news is marriage dissolution doesn’t have to get messy or ugly. When you are willing to compromise and negotiate, you can end your marital union in the friendliest way possible.

Divorce lawyers in Boulder and other parts of the state share a few guidelines for a collaborative and friendly divorce:

Understand what each of you did that resulted in divorce

Instead of blaming the other party or plotting acts of revenge, find an honest understanding of what caused the divorce. It is best to review your marriage. determine what went wrong, and know what led both of you to choose to end the relationship. Learning to listen is important in this process.

Identify and learn from your mistakes

Identify what went wrong by remembering times you have been a little bit stubborn or a less loving spouse. Some examples are when you chose to become overly emotional, want to control your partner, or dismiss any attempt to voice out their concerns. Examine your mistakes and learn how you can learn from them.

Aim for a cooperative process

Some divorcing couples settle issues with the same strategies that led to a marriage dissolution. If you want the settlement process to be friendly and cooperative, identify the skills that were missing in your relationship and use them when making shared decisions.

Choose the right professionals

Find a divorce lawyer who has experience in helping clients reach a settlement amicably. Be sure that you hire a family law attorney and not just any lawyer you or your friend knows. It is also not advisable to get divorce advice from friends, family, or colleagues unless they are expert in divorce laws.

Aim for fairness.

If you feel betrayed, it is always tempting to ask for more than what you think is fair. If you, on the other hand, feel guilty about the divorce, you may be tempted to become extremely generous to that other party. Note that the divorce can affect you in the future, so it important for both spouses to get their fair share.

Acknowledge that divorce is a process, and not something you can get over with instantly. This is why it is best to find someone with whom you can talk about your feelings and sentiments. This can help you be calm and learn how to accept certain things. You should also remember that there is life after divorce.